Retro Review #22: Batman Begins

We can all thank or blame this awesome piece of cinema for all of the gritty reboots we seem to be getting these days but either way you look at it, Christopher Nolan is a goddamn genius. 

I have seen all the modern Batman films at the theatres and admittedly, loved the fuck out of them, but on repeat viewings, started to see them for what they were. Batman was great save for a few little details like the Joker killing Bruce Wayne's parents, Batman Returns was a nice, dark take on the story, even if the Penguin was kinda stupid, Batman Forever was amazing to me at the time and lets face it, Jim Carrey was awesome as the Riddler and Batman and Robin was a piece of shit, but we all know that.

Now come to this reboot and it's clear they actually wanted to make a good movie. They stayed true to the origin of Batman, whilst also filling in some stuff we haven't seen before and to top it all off, they cast Katie Holmes, what's not to love? But seriously, I don't think she sucked as hard as has been the general consensus. You try being in a film with Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Liam Neeson, Ken Watanabe and sharing the screen with a giant bat and not looking like a stunned goldfish.

Rachel Dawes in Batman Begins.

Now onto the flick itself: aside from the fact that we don't even see Batman until about an hour in, you never lose interest unless you are dead, which presumably, you are not. In flashback we see Bruce travel the world and training and being in prison and shit, meeting Henri Ducard and mobster Carmine Falconi, and stealing an apple. I think it's an apple, anyhow, after training with Henri and the League of Shadows, he returns to Gotham with the intention of bringing criminals to justice. He decides to dress as a bat because he's afraid of 'em and wants to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld. All with a gravelly voice. Yeah, it's an apple.

I'm Batman. What up?

He uses his company to find and order a bunch of shit he needs to fight crime including bat ears and capes and kevlar vests, but the best thing is of course, the Tumbler. This movies Batmobile. I have it in Lego.

After vowing to protect Gotham and then destroying a decent chunk of it, he gets his company back from the prick that runs it, promotes Morgan Freeman and decides to rebuild his Wayne Manor, with some renovations in the caves at the bottom. We all jump up because we know the Bat-cave will be in the sequel and everyone is satisfied and has their faith restored in the tarnished franchise. Seriously, fuck Batman and Robin with it's trying to be funny and stupid bat-nipples.

Why the Christ?

One more thing, The Dark Knight made this look not as good as it is.